By Martha Heineman Pieper, William J. Pieper
Drawing upon their years of counseling adventure, the bestselling writer crew of Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D. and William J. Pieper, M.D. clarify how parenting kinds in line with self-discipline and over the top expectancies teenagers to equate sadness with love. This frequently persists into maturity, resulting in behaviors together with consuming issues, compulsive playing, disastrous romantic offerings, substance abuse, and extra. This publication offers readers with strong instruments, together with self-assessments, checklists, diaries, and workouts, to beat their desire for disappointment.
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Sample text
We pause here to emphasize that we are not suggesting that your parents deserve to be blamed for your problems. There is a crucial distinction between unintentionally causing an injury and being morally responsible for it. You may unknowingly be coming down with the flu and infect everyone in your office, but you are not to blame for their getting ill. Similarly, parents may relate to children in ways that cause them to develop needs to make themselves 40 Addicted to Unhappiness unhappy, but that doesn’t mean that they are blameworthy.
Adults who were disciplined as children develop a multitude of ways to treat themselves or others harshly as a way of regaining feelings of being worthwhile when things do not go as they wish. If you are a person who turns on yourself or others when things go wrong, the first step in changing this painful behavior is to understand that unknowingly you are trying to comfort yourself by feeling the way you thought your 38 Addicted to Unhappiness parents wanted you to feel and by being the person you believed your parents wanted you to be.
Through her work with us, Jennifer began to understand that Carol was not an accurate judge of Jennifer’s performance, but was a person whose own addiction to unhappiness drove her to depreciate those with a reasonable and indeed a healthy motive to get help from her. Jennifer saw that anyone starting a job as complex as the one she had would need guidance, and that her questions had been neither stupid nor unnecessary. She avoided Carol and instead sought advice from another woman in the office who was comfortable in the role of mentor.
